


Mettaton's Challenge

by RavenZaphara



Series: Soul-Searcher Shitposts [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: "Who's the hottest monster in the Underground?!", F/F, Gen, M/M, Mettaton's show, Other, This is a shitpost but you'll love it., idea by madi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 20:44:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7453324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenZaphara/pseuds/RavenZaphara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HELLO BEAUTIES AND GENTLE-BEAUTIES!<br/>You have all voted on the top most BEAUTIFUL monsters in the Underground! SO NOW WE MUST HAVE A CONTEST TO SEE WHO AMONG US IS INDEED THE HOTTEST!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mettaton's Challenge

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Soul-Searcher](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6210733) by [RavenZaphara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenZaphara/pseuds/RavenZaphara). 



> My girlfriend came up with this I'm so proud.
> 
> Enjoy this, guys, as a reward for putting up with my shit.

“HELLO BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES~!” Mettaton cried out, posing seductively in what you immediately recognized as Papyrus’s “Cool Dude” croptop. “So you might be wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today.”

“does it involve free food?” Sans asked.

“Only if you’re entertaining enough. Otherwise, you’ll have to bite my shiny metal ass.” Mettaton clipped.

You snorted.

“Each of you are standing here because the ratings demand it! WE MUST HAVE A COMPETITION TO SEE WHO IS THE HOTTEST MONSTER IN THE UNDERGROUND!” He explained, posing triumphantly.

He gestured to each of you in turn. “Aaron, Sans, Papyrus, myself~, Burgerpants, my dearest Phantom under the guise of Shale, and Grillby. We will be lined up in that order, because it will be the most aesthetically pleasing.”

Burgerpants put his head in his hands. “Can I opt out? I just realized I could be literally _anywhere_ else right now.”

“SHUT UP~!” Mettaton lovingly slapped the cat monster. You could tell it was a stage slap, mostly from how Burgerpants’ smile twitched afterward. You were glad to see they were still such close friends.

“So what are we doing?” You asked, and Mettaton did a full 180, dancing over to you and cooing at you.

“Oh, darling Phantom, _you_ will be disguising yourself! Oh, and then, we will be seeing who has the sexiest manner of taking off a standard tee shirt!”

“pfff _what_?” Sans doubled over with laughter.

“Oh, come on! There is very little about seeing someone disrobe that is not attractive! Especially since all of you were voted in the top ten monsters the Underground fantasizes about!”

You counted in your head. “Who were the other three?”

His smile faltered. “Not important! Let’s move on! Everyone put on a shirt! The crowd is hungry for your delicious chests!”

“jesus fucking christ.” Sans grumbled, and you took his hand. “let’s get this over with, then.”

You chuckled. “It’ll be fun.”

He shrugged. “probably gonna be boring as fuck.”

You weren’t too sure. “Anyway, let’s do the disguise thing.”

You concentrated on the way you wanted to look, and the little part of your soul that was linked to Sans’s warmed in a way that told you you could possibly do this all on your own if you wanted to. Regardless, it was much less tiring to let him help, and more fun, too.

“i’m not sure if i like how much taller you are.” He grumbled.

You peered down at him and winked devilishly at him. “Afraid I’ll dominate you?”

He made a shocked noise and shrank away from you, face turning a vivid blue. You walked past him, taking your place between Burgerpants and Grillby.

Mettaton handed you a shirt with a wink of his own and you struggled to put it on over your flattened wings. It was quite possibly the most uncomfortable thing ever. Your wings shifted a tiny bit and the shirt protested. Burgerpants snickered and grabbed another shirt, passing it to you. “You know, bud… you could just… I don’t know, manifest your wings separately? Can you do that?”

You thought for a moment. Could you? The wings were a part of you, weren’t they?

Grillby spoke on your other side. “You will feel off balance, but it can be done.”

You focused on it for a moment, and felt them dissipate into raw energy and magic, ready to spring from your soul at command. You pulled the shirt off of your body awkwardly, and took the un-torn one from Burgerpants, putting it on quickly as everyone else got into position and quit talking. Mettaton came back around, handing everyone a bow tie.

“Oh, no.” You protested. “I’m not a Chippendale, okay?”

“You are for right now, darling.” Mettaton purred, fastening it around your neck with an evil grin.

You felt your face heat, and you wondered if Sans could see you right now. You looked around and noted that there was a screen that showed everyone—including the seven of you—what was happening on stage from an assortment of angles.

“We’re going live, lovelies! Get ready!”

You caught Sans’s heated glance in your direction through the screen and you found yourself smiling.

Mettaton took his place and posed for the audience, which roared to life. Hell, when was the last time you’d been in front of that many people? It had been during the Babymetal incident, hadn’t it?

The screams were incredible.

“HELLO~!” Mettaton worked the crowd, introducing them to each contestant (though everyone already knew everyone, right?) “And welcome to the first ever HOTTEST MONSTER CHALLENGE!”

When the crowd calmed down a bit, Aaron was the first up. You noticed now that he was not actually wearing a shirt. He was just flexing. Eventually, he just flexed his way off the stage while the rest of you looked on in confusion. The crowd seemed to enjoy it though.

Sans was next, and you watched as he reached over his back and pulled the shirt off how he normally did, exposing his ribs. There was an appreciative murmur from the crowd—and then Papyrus began furiously trying to rip his shirt. However, he seemed to be tugging it in all the wrong ways, and the fabric resisted his attempts to destroy it.

Papyrus realized his folly and instead pulled the shirt down to cover to his knees, becoming like a ball and rolling away with a soft, “Nyeh…”

Mettaton chased him down before he could get too far, lifted him back to his feet and spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. “Oh, no, darling. Like _this_.” And he ripped Papyrus’s shirt open ruthlessly. The crowd went ballistic, and you saw the shock on Papyrus’s face.

Sans was trying hard not to laugh, but he was failing miserably. You heard a commotion from backstage, but paid it no mind as Mettaton stepped back into the lineup and threw his arms into the air, the shirt erupting in a storm of glitter and confetti.

You and Sans were both guffawing at this point, but you straightened politely when Burgerpants threw his cigarette away and reached for the hem of his shirt. He took it off carefully and dropped it, and then pulled off his pants, and proceeded to moonwalk offstage in his tighty whities, tail flicking erratically, all while he was lighting another cigarette. Just before he disappeared offstage, he threw up a middle finger at Mettaton. “I’ll never get the glitter out of my fur, you asshole!”

The commotion backstage revealed itself as Undyne as she barreled past Burgerpants and took the spot he’d occupied as her own.

“Undyne, why are you—” Mettaton tried to object.

“MY WAIFU IS HERE I HAVE PERMISSION!” She cried out and then just tore her shirt apart with a bloodcurdling roar. (In the crowd, Alphys blushed furiously and whispered to herself, “Well mark me scared and horny.”)

You were next, you realized with a jolt, and Sans objected. “dude, is this really fair? literally everyone knows they’re gonna win.”

Your grin widened and the volume of the crowd grew to a crescendo. “How ‘bout I do anyway?” You sang and summoned your wings back, the entire back of the shirt erupting. What was left, trapping your chest, you clawed off leaving light marks from where your nails scraped at your scales.

Once the crowd quieted and Mettaton quit whimpering, everyone eyed Grillby. He carefully rolled his sleeves up before putting his hands in his pockets. Mild confusion made a few people mutter disapproval. He stared out into the crowd.

As everyone watches with bated breath, his shirt, and nothing else, erupts into cinders and falls away. His spectacular chiseled form gleamed like molten metal, the flames lapping at the air before settling down. The bowtie and his pants were untouched, showing a startling control over his magic.

Mettaton was obviously upset, as he much would have preferred the entire ensemble go up in flames. The crowd shared the sentiment.

You realized you definitely lost the competition.

Mettaton gestured backstage. “And now to present the title!” Toriel and Muffet emerged, both of them blushing furiously. All of Muffet’s hands were clasped behind her, and her eyes were wide, dark purple staining her cheeks. She was sweating, and she wasn’t sure if it was because of the intense heat radiating from Grillby or from the weight of her sudden attraction.

Toriel was beet red in the face. You couldn’t resist. “Tori, you look like you’re going to faint.”

Grillby turned to her, concern obvious. “Tiny Scarf, are you okay?”

Toriel didn’t have time to cover her mouth. “Suddenly I understand why mother had the **hots** for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, on a technicality, he is honestly the HOTTEST, right?


End file.
